June 16, 2013 by Craig Sutherland
If only we had time to sit down and write applicable insults for the people we hate, well Hollywood does. Here’s some genius put-downs…
Offensive? Pretty much everything that Nicky says in Casino is some degree of offensive but this line has a lot of venom behind it.
Brendan Gleeson as Ken in In Bruges ”I mean no disrespect, but you’re a cunt. You’re a cunt now and you’ve always been a cunt. And the only thing that’s going to change is that you’re going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.”
Offensive? Considering Ken is talking to his boss who seems to be a pretty retched soul it comes as a surprise. It’s always good to drop the C-Bomb on your boss.
Offensive? When said to the only sane character in entire movie it does come off a tad harsh.
Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday in Tombstone “Why, Ed, does this mean we’re not friends anymore? You know Ed, if I thought you weren’t my friend, I just don’t think I could bear it.”
Offensive? Some say sarcasm is the lowest for of wit but Doc comes off witty as hell when he pulls this line out of the bag with a gun to his face.
John Cleese as Taunting French Guard in Monty Python and the Holy Grail “I don’t wanna talk to you no more you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now go away before I taunt you a second time!”
Offensive? Elderberries smell quite nice though and hamsters are pretty cute right?
Peter Capaldi as Malcolm Tucker in In The Loop “Within your ‘purview’? Where do you think you are, some fucking regency costume drama? This is a government department, not a fucking Jane fucking Austen novel. Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock!”
Offensive? Malcolm manages to be obscene with pretty much everything he says in this film, so much so, Buzzfeed have an article explaining how to swear like him…
Bill Murray as Dr. Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters ”Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.”
Offensive? Calling a man ‘Dickless’ in a PG film takes a lot of balls… (See what I did there)
Matt Damon as Will Hunting in Good Will Hunting ” Do you like apples? Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?”
Offensive? In context, yes.
Alan Ford as Brick Top in Snatch ”Listen, you fucking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don’t want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I’m walking, and I’ll cut your fucking Jacobs off.”
Offensive? ‘You fucking fringe’ is probably not the worst thing you’ll be called in your life but when Brick Top call you it you can guarantee he’s just sick of calling people cunts and is slowly inventing a new swearing vocabulary.
Will Ferrel & Christina Applegate in Anchorman
“Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby.”
“I’m not a baby, I am a man. I am an anchorman.”
“You are not a man. You are a big fat joke.”
“I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.”
“I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.”
“You are a smelly pirate hooker.”
“You look like a blueberry.”
“Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”
Offensive? If you were in this argument you’d be laughing too much to be offended.
Daniel Day-Lewis as Bill The Butcher in The Gangs Of New York “I don’t give a tuppeny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit-sack.”
Offensive? I think we’d all be a bit more scared of Bills butcher knife rather than his razor-wit.
Leon Russom as Malibu Police Chief in The Big Lebowski ”Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don’t draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don’t like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don’t like your jerk-off name. I don’t like your jerk-off face. I don’t like your jerk-off behaviour, and I don’t like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?”
Offensive? The put-down is rough but not as rough as the coffee mug that’s thrown at ‘The Dudes’ face at the end of the scene.
Bruce Willis and Taylor Negron as Joe Hallenback and Milo in The Last Boyscout
Milo: Can we do a formal introduction here?
Joe Hallenbeck: Who gives a fuck? You’re the bad guy, right?
Milo: I am the bad guy.
Joe Hallenbeck: And I’m supposed to be trembling with fear, something like that?
Milo: Something like that.
Joe Hallenbeck: Fine. I’ll start trembling in a minute.
Offensive? Way to cut the bad guy down to size.
If all else fails just tell someone that they smell…
- Cunt (A short text about censorship) (marcleloup.co.uk)
- #32 – In Bruges (2008) (arielfisher.com)
- Top 15 Most Quotable Movies Ever (popdose.com)
- Famous cocktails: from silver screen to bars and clubs (brandsandfilms.com)