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The main reasons you shouldn’t bother seeing Transcendence

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May 1, 2014 by heligena


transcendence1

1) It’s a muddled morally-labyrinthine thriller/love story that doesn’t know what it wants to be or say

2) Johnny Depp loses 87% hotness whenever he shaves his head/morphs into Skynet. This happens more than you might think.

3) It’s got a stellar cast but it wastes them on weakly fleshed out characters who spend most of the movie time apart, thus destroying any burgeoning rapport the actors might build.

4) Christopher Nolan was originally circling this project but he eventually passed it onto Wally Pfister, a cinematographer for his directorial debut. The film is attractive to be sure but it also seems hesitant and inexperienced in terms of storytelling and intimacy.

lawnmowerman

5) If you’ve seen Lawnmower Man, you’ve already seen this movie. And it’s nowhere near as cheesy or entertaining as the Jeff Fahey classic. I mean come on-the guy has gooey digital sex in it! There’s none of that digo-porn here. I know because I was really looking for it.

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